There I said it "I want a do-over"

Yes, I said "Do-over"! It's taboo to say amongst mothers who have it all, the kids, the home and the husband. We should be grateful for what we have- isn't that what mom would tell us? But here I am screaming it to the world, "I WANT A DO-OVER!!". I have a right to feel this way. There are just those days when monotony takes over and you wonder "what if". I can't list all the missed opportunitites and sacrifices I've made for my family, they are endless. (I know cry me a river!) And it would not only be selfish but unrealistic to except the same in return. BUT I feel like I have the right to be upset sometimes. Our mothers taught us not to complain, to be happy with what we have. I can hear her clearly " mija, you know it can always be worse, just be happy". My mom, like many good Latina mamis (God bless her soul), devoted her life to her husband and her children. She never did anything for herself, which unfortunately is very characteristic of many old school Latinas. She lived to serve us. Now she lives in a nursing home suffering with Alzheimer's and I know for a fact she never lived life to it's fullest. She never did everything she wanted to do. I unfortunately have regrets for her.

So although I have some wonderful children and husband, i will be the first to admit that at times wanting a do-over does cross my mind. I want to make sure I make myself a priority, something my poor Mami never did. I will do it in her name, cause that's really the least I can do.


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